


Alien Moon Trolls

by spacegypsy1



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fun with SG1, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 19:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14625152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacegypsy1/pseuds/spacegypsy1
Summary: Fun with SG1 on a rescue mission, featuring Daniel and Vala, Teal and Ishta, Cam and Carolyn and Sam and Jack.





	Alien Moon Trolls

Looking like the fierce warrior she is, Ishta snapped out, "We must hurry! We waste precious time. I will explain once we are on our way to Caspadia." When the Stargate remained inactive she glared, turning towards General Landry and General O'Neill who stood in the doorway.

“We're ready, sirs." Mitchell confirmed with a nod as Vala, then Daniel and Sam took a questioning look at the two generals.

"Got a plan?" Jack stepped further into the room and stood, arm leaning on his weapon and a quirky sneer on his face.

When no one answered Ishta moved forward bringing her staff weapon into firing position, "The plan, O'Neill, is to rescue Teal'c from captivity. Let us leave. Now!"

Mitchell placed a hand on the staff weapon and pushed its nose toward the floor. "Whoa there, Miss Hotheaded Hak'tel Hoyden, no need for that." They all knew the weapon was not powered on, but he moved it just the same.

At that moment, Dr. Carolyn Lam walked between her father and O'Neill, entering the room and stopping in the midst of the team. She brushed at her BDUs, adjusted the heavy pack on her back, checked her weapon, and then stared straight ahead not saying a word.

Unsure, Ishta, head cocked and appearing confused, turned with a questioning look for Mitchell.

Mitchell frowned and looked at Landry, "You authorized her to go?"

The general puckered his brow and looked at Jack.

"Not me." Jack's hands and arms went up and he eyed Sam.

"Nope." Sam turned to Daniel.

"No way. I couldn't authorize a pack of bubble gum." Daniel looked at the good doctor.

"General Landry, sir," Walter's voice came over the speaker, "ah, sir, you have a call from the President's office, sir.." Landry scowled at his daughter before heading for the control room.

Ignoring Mitchell who just days before had insisted she parachute out of a perfectly good airplane, Carolyn scanned the rest of the faces in the room. Still sporting a bruise and scratches on her cheek from her recent tumble she avoided smiling. "He's my mother's cousin's son-in-law… I'm going. I'm tired of trying to patch all of you up days later. Besides, Teal'c may need me, and I'm prepared for that. I'm not waiting for you to drag him back here half dead! I'm going."

Jack grinned and nodded, grateful for her concern. "Works for me." He looked at Mitchell who glared at Dr. Lam's back.

The colonel met Jack's eyes with a frown, "You're watchin' her then…sir?"

Further confused by this group of Tau'ri, Ishta remained silent.

Arm dangling over the butt of the P-90, Jack responded, "I'm not watchin' her, this is your barbecue Mitchell, maybe Carter can watch her."

"Ah, no sir, I can't watch her… Sorry, Carolyn. Daniel could watch her."

Daniel scoffed, but before he could speak Vala stepped up beside Carolyn, "I'll watch her."

"Only the best and sharpest needles for you, Vala." Carolyn said cutting her eyes to Mitchell. The look was clearly meant to blow a hole right between his eyes.

Landry's voice came over the intercom, "SG-1, you have a go."

Vala cocked her head toward the gate, "come on then, ladies first," and she took a hold of the doctor's vest front and marched up the ramp to the Stargate with Carolyn in tow. Just before they disappeared into the puddle, Vala frowned. "Samantha, Ishta, are you coming?" And plop, they were gone.

"Oh, right." Sam dashed up the ramp, Ishta close on her heels, both vanishing right behind the other two women.

~0i0~

PQ3-5P5, also known as Caspadia, was in the midst of some kind of elaborate celebration. Colorful tents and booths lined the circle around the Stargate. Ishta's Tel'tak, draped in bright colored banners with streamers blowing in the breeze, was right where she had left it, sans decorations, when she'd gated to the SGC.

"No time for partying, guys so let's get to it," Mitchell nearly careened into Daniel's back as he came to a halt. "Jackson, let's see if we can find some official and get the scoop on whatever they may know. Someone around here is going to have motor mouth and you're just the person to find them. Take Vala and the General with you. The good doctor, Sam and Ishta will accompany me. We'll take the ship to the Moon to see what we can find out." Cam looked doubtfully at the cargo ship, "Is that thing gonna fly?" He asked Ishta with concern.

"It will fly, Tau'ri, do not concern yourself." Ishta flipped her cape out of her way with her staff weapon and approached the craft.

Jack leaned in close to Sam, "Ya know, I like this not being in charge. Just go when you want to and don't worry about a thing. Kinda nice. Although, if I woulda been in charge, we'd have time for cake." He indicated a table laden with cakes and pies by jerking his head in that direction.

Sam nodded with a grin, then pointed toward Daniel and Vala who were walking away into the crowed. "Go." She knew him and his ways. Jack was worried about Teal'c, and he tried to cover up his concern by being glib.

Jack followed Vala and Daniel through the throng of celebrants in search of 'some official' as their illustrious leader had phrased it.

"It's obviously a big party here," Vala was grinning happily, rubbing her palms together, "It'll be a lot more interesting than some old deserted moon!"

Daniel huffed, "It's not deserted, it's sort of a resort, like a honeymoon resort…"

"What!" Vala's eyes went round, "Teal'c was on a honeymoon… that's the after you're married go away and … you know…" She was stirring her hands through the air seeking the proper words.

"No, Teal'c was not on a honeymoon, it's a place for Teal'c and Ishta to meet, it's not just for honeymoons. They've been there before." Jack offered in explanation.

"Oh. Well, Daniel, maybe we should have gone with Mitchell and left Carolyn and Jack here." Her voice was low and sultry and her eyes suggestive.

Jack withheld a comment and walked off towards a group of men.

Daniel only shook his head in exasperation. "This is serious, Vala. Teal'c is missing."

"I know that! Stop being so grumpy, we'll find him, Ishta said the people who took them were small and not well armed." Vala pointed towards a man in gold trimmed robes who carried an enormous book. "Look Daniel, that man over there. He must be some type of official."

The man spotted the couple looking expectantly at him and immediately came their way. "You have come to seek me?" The man asked.

"Yes. I'm Daniel Jackson and this is Vala Mal Doran." Daniel looked to see where the rest of the team was, before turning back to the man. "Yes, we have come to seek you."

"Daniel Jackson, I am Magistrate Molisom, and I am at your service." The man opened his big book, took some writing tool from his pouch and wrote in his book.

Vala tried to see what the man was writing, but Daniel scowled and taking her by the back of her vest, pulled her closer to him. "We need your help with a private matter." Daniel looked at Vala daring her to speak.

"No need for privacy today. We celebrate Chaapa'ai Day, no one has a care and all is done with a happy blessing."

"We come for information concerning…" Daniel moved in a little closer to the magistrate.

"For my blessing?" The man smiled at the couple. "Well, I suppose that too,"

Vala thought the man a bit odd. She hugged Daniel's arm still trying to see into Molisom's book.

Daniel gave her a warning glare before turning back to the magistrate. "We seek information concerning the moon and…"

"Now-now, later…all that comes later." Magistrate Molisom started writing in his book once more.

"Your name again?" He smiled kindly at Vala.

"Vala Mal Doran."

"Yes-yes. I remember now. So many names." He pulled a page from the book, rolled it up and handed it to Vala and went back to writing in the large tome.

"Magistrate, is there someone we can talk to about the moon?" Daniel was getting frustrated.

"In a hurry isn't he?" The man asked Vala.

"Always! You have no idea. He barely gets finished and he's off to something else!"

The man frowned and looked back at Daniel who seemed to be watching one of the other women who had accompanied him through the Stargate. "Humph! I see." The magistrate snapped his book shut and stalked off. THAT one will be back for dissolution of marriage as soon as the honeymoon is over!

"He gave me a souvenir." Vala stuck the rolled parchment into her jacket.

"That's nice." Daniel took Vala's elbow and led her over to where Jack waited. "You two stay together, talk to the locals and see what you can find out. I'm going to see if I can locate someone with some answers."

Jack's eyebrows dove low as he frowned watching Daniel walk away, "When did you get so bossy!"

"He's always been bossy," Vala commented watching Daniel's six with a silly grin on her face.

"You've got a real thing for him don't you?"

"What do you mean, real?"

"As in you're not just messing with him…"

"Hmmm, let's go talk to that group over there, they look quite nosy and may have some information." Vala started off towards the people she'd indicated and Jack just grinned.

~0i0~

Carolyn and Mitchell stood nose to nose arguing outside of the Tel'tak in the midst of undraping the ship from its colorful decorations. Sam and Ishta were already inside preparing for flight.

Magistrate Molisom approached the fighting couple. "Now-now, what have we here? Arguing on Chaapa'ai Day?"

Both turned with a false smile, then Cam moved away from Carolyn and approached the man, "No sir, we're just discussin' the merits of the proper way to undecorate. See, we need the ship. We're takin' a trip to the moon."

"Ah, then you have need of me! So many this year, it is the best year since I have been Magistrate." He opened his book, pen in hand, "Names?"

Cam took the rolled parchment from the Magistrate and handed it to Carolyn, "Here, this must be our 'pass' to the moon, do me a favor and hang on to it, would ya'?"

She rolled her eyes, "I'm a doctor, not your secretary." But she stuck it in her pocket anyway.

Magistrate Molisom walked away a bit confused by these newcomers, after all it was the first time anyone had brought their own ship as most would have to wait until late evening for the moon shuttle. Strange indeed, these couples. Strange indeed.

Mitchell shook his head and closed his eyes in exasperation. He folded his arms across his chest, opened his eyes and grumbled. "Look, I'm really sorry about the whole parachute thing the other day. You invited yourself on this little jaunt and you need an attitude adjustment. This is what we do. This is how we do it. You have a problem with that, there's the Stargate… go home."

Carolyn batted her eyes, smiled and patted him on his chest. "You're right. You're the CO, I'm the newbie, fine. We do it your way. You're just a little cocky, and I have to adjust to that… I can do that." She backed up.

He held an arm out toward the ship, "Good. After you." Holy Mother of Mercy, she was somethin'! He grinned as he followed the doctor into the ship his gaze locked on her six.

The comm beeped and Jack spit out instructions. "Mitchell. We think the little people on the moon snatched the big guy. Daniel found out where their hide out is. So we're on our way to join you guys."

~0i0~

"We should be on the moon within twenty earth minutes." Ishta manipulated the controls.

Vala pulled out the document she'd been given to see if there were any special instructions for a moon visit. Parchment in hand, she studied the writings. "Hmm, doesn't take that long to get all nuptualized on that planet if I'm understanding this document." Looking somewhat confused she spoke to Daniel, "I think that strange alien man on that planet married us."

Daniel scoffed, "Not likely."

"Well I wouldn't be so sure Mr. The Glass is Always Greener! Look at this document, what does it look like to you? All I can read is the Daniel Jackson and the Vala Mal Doran, however, it appears…."

Daniel snatched the parchment from her hands and translated the elaborately decorated document, which in fact was a marriage certificate. "Holy… holy freaking ... buckets!"

"Well," Vala clapped her hands together, "I'll take that as a compliment. Darling." Vala leaned into him, twirling one pigtail and raising her brows in invitation.

"We are not married Vala. Cut it out."

"I beg your pardon? It says so right there." She pointed at center of the parchment, "Don't you want to be married to me?"

"Being married is not … well... right now we... I'm not sure that's... "

"Oh, come on Daniel, you know you want me. I'm your wife; we can do 'it' without guilt."

Opening and closing his mouth without speaking, Daniel seemed to consider the possibilities.

Carolyn was peering over Daniel's shoulder, "Looks real to me."

He turned and gave the doctor a squinted eye 'stay out of this' look, which Carolyn promptly ignored. "It seems official, Daniel, you and Vala may very well be married, at least in the eyes of the residents of Caspadia." Carolyn said in all seriousness.

Sam and Mitchell were both grinning foolishly. "

Well," Daniel said with a touch of overconfidence, "we are not residents of Caspadia, therefore it is not a valid marriage."

"Sure, Jackson." Mitchell laughed at Daniel's predicament. "Looks legal to me."

Dr. Lam took the document the Magistrate had given Mitchell out of her pocket and unrolled it. "Daniel? What about this one?" She handed it over, suddenly worried.

Daniel laughed out loud, handing it to Mitchell. "Gee, Colonel, seems you have one too. Cameron Mitchell and Carolyn Lam... let me be the first to congratulate you. Oh, and I'd love to be there when you tell Landry."

Carolyn stood with her mouth open and eyes wide. "Whaaa... but...we didn't say...this can't be real!"

Delighted, Vala rubbed her hands together and voiced a giddy, "This is so fun! Married!"

"Vala," Daniel threatened, "It's not a legal and binding document on Earth."

"Heehee! Then I'm not returning to Earth and neither are you." Since her new husband only narrowed his eyes further and glared more intently, Vala turned to Carolyn. "Don't you think so, too? I mean you and Mitchell... me and Daniel setting up housekeeping right here?"

The doctor's face went pale. "I'm returning to Earth at the first opportunity!"

With a heavy sigh, Vala pinched Daniel's butt. "It was fun while it lasted, Hubby."

Rubbing his six, Daniel fought down his grin with a fake grimace.

~0i0~

As the Tel'tak came to a soft landing, Ishta pointed out the screen. "There! At the tree line. It is Teal'c!"

They rushed from the ship to find Teal'c stalking towards them holding one very diminutive person in each hand. One male, one female.

"Elves?"

"Hobbits?"

"Lilliputians?"

"Gnomes?"

"Caspadia Moon Trolls. I thought they were a myth."

Jack looked at Ishta with confusion. "Gazpacho what?"

Ishta took one of the offenders in hand, lightly, intimately touching Teal'c's cheek with her free hand. "I am happy to see you, husband."

"T, those captured you?" Jack took a closer inspection of the one glaring menacingly in his direction. "Wait...husb..."

"There were two hundred of them, O'Neill. I managed to escape. These two pursued so I have brought them along for leverage should the other one hundred and ninety eight decide to track me. I thank you all for..." Teal'c looked down at the two parchments Daniel still held in his hands. "Ah, I see you too have been married. That is good to know, Daniel Jackson, as you were quite happy in the time that was not time. There are two certificates of marriage; who is the other happy couple?"

"Ah, time... er... what?" Daniel looked back at Vala who only shrugged.

"I guess me and the Doc are the other couple, Big Guy." Grinning, Cam put an arm around Carolyn's waist and she hauled off and smacked him, though she didn't pull away.

Sam and Jack clasped hands, smiling but remained silent.

"So, what are we gonna do with the munchkins?" Jack asked pointing back and forth from the creatures Ishta and Teal'c held.

"Leave them behind. We don't need any trolls. We got enough crap as it is. We got us a Space Pirate Ex-Goa'uld, a Freed Jaffa, whatever Cassie is, some of those worm creatures... no wait, that's in a movie. Okay, let's go." Cam did the round them up signal and took off. "Come on Mr. and Mrs. Jackson, Mr. and Mrs. Teal'c, oh, and Mr. and Mrs. Carter, cause you two ain't foolin' anybody." Cam laughed out loud. Half way through the laugh and still walking he managed to place a sloppy wet kiss on Carolyn's mouth. "And you too Mrs. Mitchell."

Coupled up, the group walked in a line two by two towards the Tel'tak.

"Say, Big Guy, why'd they capture you?" Mitchell's question was accompanied by another laugh.

"I could not understand their language, Colonel Mitchell, therefore I never could ascertain their reasoning. However, per our treaty with Caspadia, including their moon and their customs, those marriage documents are binding."

It was Vala Jackson, nee Mal Doran, who responded, one finger digging into Daniel's cheek. "Oh, goodie! Let's make babies!"

~END Of Troll Trope


End file.
